No. When people are trying to change, you don’t judge them over their past decisions and then try to pass it off as “caring”. Sorry not everyone has the same values or moral codes as you. That’s more your issue than theirs. Especially if they’re trying to freaking change. So no. Don’t say you’re caring when you shame someone for decisions they already regret. That’s not caring, that’s shaming. And that’s a big difference. When people open up about what they’ve done that they would rather forget about, they’re opening themselves up to you and putting their trust in you and the last thing they want to hear is a reminder on how stupid they were. And when they really are trying to fix themselves up, don’t you dare fucking shame them. Support them. They don’t need a lecture, they already know they’re guilty and that’s why they’re fixing it. If they’re fixing it, don’t lecture them. Comfort them.